my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
ogay i can safely say i studied kwite a bit more than usual today. at least i'm gonna finish up all three chapters of economies of scale, theory of production and cost and monopoly today. i hope i do. then tomorrow shall be a history day. got tuition in the evening though. woke up late today and so i didn't go according to schedule. still i'm glad i studied. went out to study though, with hwei and her friends. but they left so it was kinda conducive (despite the disgusting houseflies. why do they have houseflies in bk?). mom keeps making a huge deal out of me going out to study. like hello this is the second time i've gone out to study and she talks as if i do it every single day. come on, no matter how 'homey' you are, studying at home ALL ALONE for two whole weeks really is a huge BORE and it really gets lonely. she doesn't seem to get it and when i tell her i study better outside she says its jes a huge excuse to want to get out of the house and if i really wanted to study and i have self-control, i can stay at home. like don't you see? the whole point is precisely because I DONT HAVE SELF-CONTROL which is why i have to go out and distance myself from this stupid computer, the bed and EVERYTHING which i'll never do when there's no work to do.
sheesh, parents.
written with ♥ at
6:51 AM;
